Christmas Lost – And Found! by Tessa Afshar

Greetings, y’all! Mesu here. 😉

As this year’s holidays approached, I tried to think of a gift I could offer my readers, and I thought ya’ll might enjoy hearing from other authors about their special holiday memories. I’m thrilled to introduce my sweet friend, Tessa Afshar. Most of you probably already know her through her UH-mazing biblical novels, but did you know she lost her first 25 Christmases?

Tessa and I met face-to-face for the first time at a writer’s conference in 2012, but I’d never heard/read her full testimony until this wonderful post. My buddy, Brennan McPherson, shared in last month’s blog about his Thanksgivings: Past and Present. And another dear one, Conni Cossette, will share in next week’s newsletter (the Monday before Christmas) about some special childhood memories.

(If you haven’t yet subscribed to my newsletters, CLICK HERE, and download your free novella. Merry Christmas!)

Christmas Lost – And Found!

by Tessa Afshar

I lost Christmas for the first twenty-six years of my life. I was born in a Middle Eastern country, and my family, who were nominal Muslims, didn’t celebrate the birth of Christ.

When I was around 13, my parents were divorced, and my mom, my sister and I moved to England. My mom, who didn’t want her children to feel left out, bought a tree at Christmas and gave us gifts.

We didn’t really understand the meaning behind this tradition, but it seemed like a good deal. The tree was pretty. Presents are always welcome in the Afshar clan. But there was no baby Jesus.

All those years of trees and gifts and family, I still lost Christmas.

My Days In Hertfordshire

Shortly after moving to England, I began to attend Princess Helena College, a boarding school for girls in Hertfordshire (pronounced Heart-ford-share), where I studied Jane Austen and Shakespeare and Charlotte Bronte. Although not faith-based, our school was very traditional, and weekly church attendance was required. Those of us from different faith backgrounds were told to sit in the balcony section of the village church during Sunday services, and read our own religious books.

I decided this was an unrealistic requirement. The Quran is written in Arabic, and being a Persian speaker, its meaning was lost to me. (A translation is not considered beneficial from a faith perspective.) Trying to be compliant, I made a compromise.

I read in church—romance novels!

Suffice it to say that I learned some things about love, but it wasn’t exactly what Jesus had in mind.

My Move to the U.S.

Eventually, I moved to the US to go to college, where in time, I became a grateful citizen. Having lived in the Christian West all those years, it is interesting that I never heard the Gospel until I was in my mid-twenties. Perhaps people did not want to intrude or offend. Perhaps they just did not know how to approach me.

When I turned twenty-five, I went through a devastating experience. It made me feel like an utter failure. I lost hope for a happy future. Until that moment, I had believed that my own striving, achievement, and strength could carry me through life and lead me to happiness.

Now, I hit a wall I could not overcome. I felt like I was drowning with no way out. I looked for answers and found none. It was during this time of profound shattering that I had a dream of Jesus.

Dream After Devastation

In my dream, I was by the Sea of Galilee. A man started walking toward me from a distance, and I knew he was Jesus. Having never read the Bible, my only experience of Jesus had been through films I had seen during Easter and Christmas as a schoolgirl.

In those movies, Jesus was very handsome in a movie star kind of way. Not the Jesus of my dream! He was homely. It was not until months later that I would read in Isaiah that the Messiah would not be much to look at.

Sadly, my first response to the Son of God was disappointment. This was Jesus? God couldn’t do any better for His Son? Of course, God does not measure beauty by the outward appearance of a person, a lesson I would learn in time.

Looking Beyond Disappointment

Hot on the feet of my initial disappointment, however, was a speechless astonishment, for in His eyes I saw reflected the power that created the stars mingled with the love that led Him to the Cross. It almost brought me to my knees, the look in His beloved eyes. That melting tenderness, that uncompromising compassion.

Oh, my dears, when you look into His eyes, you will forget your sorrows and fears.

Perhaps the most miraculous part of this dream was that I knew who He was. I mean I was aware of the fullness of His identity. I knew that this man was the Son of God, and worthy of my trust. Every word he spoke could be relied on. Every promise He made would come to pass. When He asked me to follow Him, I did, without reservation.

The Reality Of Conversion

I didn’t wake up from my dream a Christian; I still didn’t know the Gospel. I did not realize I had to repent and give the full control of my life to the Lord. But I suspect that dream encounter broke through a stronghold. It was a crucial exchange that somehow opened the doors to my subsequent conversion.

Within months of my dream, Christians began to invite me to church, to Bible studies, to dinner, to parties, to conferences. These crazy people never stopped showing me the love of God! That is when my life changed. I saw Jesus displayed in His people. And then, I fell in love with Him. I haven’t stopped since!

I Found Christmas!

That year, Christmas had a whole new meaning. I knew for the first time that God loved me personally. He wanted to be involved in every detail of my life, because He had a good and trustworthy plan for my future. Under my tree, I found the most important present of all. The Son of God, wrapped in swaddling clothes.

It’s been many years since I celebrated my first true Christmas. There have been seasons I got lost in the busyness. But even then, the sheer joy of Christ’s birth managed to seep through my misguided attempts at perfection and worldly sparkle.

Christmas 2020

This has been a year of challenges. Of loss, both great and small. Still, I want to invite you to look for that special present under your tree. The one that changes everything, even hardship. Jesus, Himself, seeking you in the manger of your heart.

Easy Tweets:

• Tessa Afshar, who spent her teenage years in an English boarding school, says, ALL THOSE YEARS OF TREES AND GIFTS AND FAMILY, I STILL LOST CHRISTMAS. Read her story today.
• Tessa invites us to look for that special Present under our tree. The one that changes everything, even hardship. Jesus, Himself.
• Read todays blog and discover how a dream helped Tessa Afshar find Christmas!

More About Tessa:

TESSA AFSHAR is the award-winning author who holds an MDiv from Yale University where she served as cochair of the Evangelical Fellowship at the Divinity School. She serves on the staff of one of the oldest churches in America. But that has not cured her from being addicted to chocolate.

Be sure to check out Tessa’s new website at tessaafshar.com or connect with her on Facebook at: facebook.com/AuthorTessaAfshar.

Her debut novel, Pearl in the Sand, is celebrating its 10-year anniversary with a new cover! CLICK HERE to get your copy of this FABULOUS story!