How To Change a Mind

As we move through autumn, lovely green leaves change into a colorful palette before melding into winter’s dreary gray.

Change. It’s all good when we talk about leaves, but when we talk about our lives–or changing habits or how we feel about something we’re passionate about–it gets a little uncomfortable.

A Big Fat Question–Or Three

In one of my all-time favorite comedies, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the good Greek mama says to her frumpy daughter, “Let me tell you something Toula; the man is the head, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants.”

Though I won’t build my theology on her advice, it brings up some great questions:

1. Is it possible to change someone else’s mind?
2. Is it possible to change our own mind?
3. If so, how? Through a sheer act of will, or are other factors necessary to see real change occur?

What Is a Mind?

What is this thing called a MIND that we’re trying to change? According to most dictionaries, it’s the part of a human that reasons, thinks, feels, wills, or judges.

That’s a pretty important part of who we are, right? So, if we intend to change our minds, we should consider the decision carefully because it could affect several aspects of our lives. It could cause a ripple effect into our emotions, our motivations, and even how we view the world.

The Mind Matters

I’m always cranky when I try to change my eating habits. And, oh…Lord Jesus, protect anyone who tries to hold me accountable to a commitment when I’m not in the mood to keep it. (Do not stand between me and a second piece of chocolate cake.)

The mind is where my affections lie. Where I think, ponder, decide, and determine who I want to be and my place in this world. It’s where I determine what’s right or wrong. My mind also assigns value—worth-ship, otherwise known as worship–by allocating time, effort, and affection to the things I deem most important.

“An expert in the law, tested [Jesus] with this question: ‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'” Matthew 22:35–37 (emphasis added)

Mind and Body

As I’ve pondered how the mind impacts both behavior and emotion, it occurs to me that the folks who talk about mind and body being intrinsically linked–are absolutely right! Some go into very wacky versions of Eastern Mysticism and so forth, but the Bible gives the foundational Truth on which to build our lives:

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  Romans 12:1-2a (emphasis added)

Sacrificial Bodies, Renewed Minds

When our physical desire (body) pleases God alone, and our emotional passion (mind) no longer drives us, we can more clearly see God’s will! It sounds so simple, doesn’t it?

But it’s not easy.

The process engages EVERY PART OF US. Jesus wants our everything. 

• Our affections.
• Our reasoning.
• Our thoughts.
• Our talents.
• Our time.
• Our finances.
• Our preconceived judgements.
• Our fears.
• Our successes.
• Our failures.
• Our past.
• Our present.
• Our future.

“Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2b

We don’t have to get everything right before we can know God’s will (thanks to grace!), but I do believe we must be in relationship with the Grace-Giver, assigning Him worth with our minds (worship).

Wanna Be a Neck?

Now that we’ve clarified what’s involved in a mind, are you sure you want to change someone else’s? Before we beg, threaten, cajole, and/or throw an ol’ fashioned hissy fit to change other people’s minds, ponder these three questions:

1. Does the change I’m proposing have eternal value?
2. How deeply would the change affect their current world (what’s the true barrier)?
3. If they need more information to make the change, am I the one to inform them–or could they hear/understand it more clearly from another source?

One Neck, One Head

Ultimately, our sovereign God gave every human being the ability to change their mind and make their own choices. Right or wrong. Good or evil. Life or death. Why then do we, who aren’t sovereign and don’t know everything, vilify those whose thoughts, feelings, and judgments are different?

Real Life Example

Thirty years ago, my husband was working in a tool-and-die factory. He came home one day and said he felt called to full-time ministry and wanted to attend seminary. It meant I would work full-time, while he attended class and became a stay-at-home dad with our three-year-old and five-year-old daughters.

I said, “Absolutely NOT!” and was certain he’d never change my mind. I thought he was simply trying to escape a job he hated. A few days later, he came home with news that he’d received a job offer–and declined it. It was with a larger company. More pay. Better benefits.

He prepared for my coming wrath–but I wasn’t angry.

The news actually changed my mind about going to seminary. I reasoned that if he’d simply wanted to escape the job he hated, he could have taken the new position. My husband didn’t change my mind. It was the Holy Spirit that had prepared my heart and knew what would convince me to uproot my family and follow God’s calling! I’m so glad we obeyed!

The Great Changer

I’ve learned that I can only change MY mind, and I can’t impose my will on others. These revolutionary truths also mean I can neither take blame nor credit when others change their minds.

“. . . for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Philippians 2:13

I must rely on the sovereign God of Creation to honor my free will and others’ while He changes our minds to fulfill His good purpose. My job is to speak truth with a loving spirit when opportunities arise.

Lord, give me Your wisdom, and help me listen more than I talk.

Today’s Question:

• Is there something the Lord is asking you to change? Your emotions, thoughts, reasoning, or judgment about a person, place, or thing?
• Is there someone else’s mind you’ve been trying to change–that you need to release to Jesus and allow Him to do His sovereign work?

Tweet-Able:

• I must rely on the sovereign God of Creation to honor my free will and others’ while He changes our minds to fulfill His good purpose.