The Fallout of Betrayal: Part III – Judah’s Redemption

Have you ever wanted to run away from home? When I was little—maybe five or six—I had a friend over to play and I remember feeling like my mom liked her better than she liked me. The sting of betrayal was sharp, and I somehow talked myself into believing my family wouldn’t miss me if I ran away.

I packed a few clothes and made it as far as the front door before realizing we lived on a big, scary road with no other houses in sight. My parents took my friend home, and I stuck around with the family God gave me.

Today, we’re going to look at someone who ran away from home and stayed away for nearly twenty years. Judah—along with his other nine brothers—hated their brother, Joseph, so much that they sold him into slavery because Joseph was favored by their father Jacob.

The Fallout of Betrayal Continues

We began our stories of betrayal with Joseph’s heritage (Part I) and Silencing Despair (Part II).

Most have heard Joseph’s Bible story from Genesis 37, and many know the story of Potiphar’s wife who tried to seduce Joseph in Genesis 39. But why did Moses interrupt Joseph’s story to write about Judah running away from home in Genesis 38–after his role in Joseph’s betrayal?

Perhaps because it was only after Judah realized he was truly unworthy that he discovered his value. Only after he was truly lost was Judah found.

Why Did Judah Leave?

Joseph was around seventeen when his brothers finally had enough. He wasn’t just Daddy’s favorite. He was also a tattletale.

“Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them.” Genesis 37:2

The Ages of Joseph’s Brothers:

We have enough clues from Scripture to get a pretty good idea of how much older Joseph’s brothers were:

• We know Jacob served his father-in-law Laban for a total of twenty years (Gen. 31:38).
• Jacob served the first seven years to marry his beloved Rachel (Gen. 29ff).
• Laban tricked Jacob and gave him Leah instead (with her handmaid, Zilpah).
• 7 days later, Laban gave Jacob the woman he loved, Rachel (with her handmaid, Bilhah).
• God opened Leah’s womb right away and she began bearing children (year 8 of Jacob’s service to Laban)
• As soon as Rachel bore Joseph, Jacob wanted to leave Haran (Gen. 30:25).

This tells us that Jacob’s first eleven sons were likely born within a thirteen-year period. Joseph was the youngest. I picture him tagging along with his big brothers—not understanding why they hate him—always yearning for their approval. When he’s finally old enough to understand his father’s favoritism, it’s too late. By the time Jacob gives Joseph that technicolor dream coat, his brothers’ hate is harder than granite.

Judah’s Role in the Betrayal

When we read Genesis 37 carefully and pay attention to Judah’s role in it, we discover two main leaders among the brothers.

So Joseph went after his brothers and found them near Dothan. But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him. ‘Here comes that dreamer!’ they said to each other. ‘Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns…’ When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. ‘Let’s not take his life,’ he said. ‘… Throw him into this cistern here in the wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.’ Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father…As they sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead… Judah said to his brothers, ‘What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites…’ His brothers agreed.” Genesis 37:17-22; 25-27 (emphasis added)

As soon as the brothers see Joseph approaching, they begin spouting off about killing him, anger roiling as he draws nearer. Reuben—the firstborn, who culturally should have been in charge—suggests they simply throw him into an empty cistern (empty well). Scripture says he planned to go back and free Joseph later.

Wimp! You’re the firstborn! Take charge! Tell them, “No way! We can’t kill our own brother!” But he doesn’t. Evidently, during the meal, Reuben is on sheep duty and away from the rest because it’s Judah who sees the caravan of Midianites and makes the irrevocable decision to sell Joseph.

Consequences Get Real

Judah thinks he’s been merciful to simply sell their little brother instead of letting him die slowly in the empty cistern, right? Then Reuben comes back…

“When Reuben returned to the cistern and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his clothes. He went back to his brothers and said, ‘The boy isn’t there! Where can I turn now?’ Then they got Joseph’s robe, slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. They took the ornate robe back to their father and said, ‘We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe.’ He recognized it and said, ‘It is my son’s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces.’ Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days. All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. ‘No,’ he said, ‘I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.’” Genesis 37:29-35 (emphasis added)

Reuben may have been weak, but Judah was short-sighted. Jacob had just lost Rachel, his most beloved wife—Joseph’s mother—barely two years before (according to my research). How did Judah think his father would react to the horrific implications of Joseph’s bloody coat?

Jacob was likely an old man by now—approximately 115 years old—calculated by the thirteen years between Joseph’s arrival in Egypt (age 17), Joseph’s age when was made vizier (age 30), and his brothers’ arrival during the second year of famine (9 years after Joseph’s vizier duties began; 30 – 17 + 9 = 22). Jacob was 137 years old during the second year of famine, when he appeared before Pharaoh to bless him (137 – 22 = 115).

I believe Judah heard his father say, “I will continue to mourn until I join [Joseph] in the grave,” and that’s when he ran away from home.

A Betrayal of Faith

When Judah left his family’s camp, it was betrayal deeper than we might understand. He was one of Abraham’s descendants—a covenant bearer—who abandoned his family to live among the Canaanites. Judah would have grown up hearing stories about his uncle Esau:

“Now Esau learned that Isaac had blessed Jacob and had sent him to Paddan Aram to take a wife from there, and that when he blessed him he commanded him, ‘Do not marry a Canaanite woman,’  and that Jacob had obeyed his father and mother and had gone to Paddan Aram. Esau then realized how displeasing the Canaanite women were to his father Isaac; so he went to Ishmael and married Mahalath, the sister of Nebaioth and daughter of Ishmael son of Abraham, in addition to the wives he already had.” Genesis 28:6-9 (emphasis added)

When Jacob’s whole family was falling apart, his fourth-born son ran to a land and people he knew would be most displeasing to his family.

At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and made love to her; she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er. She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan. She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah…Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death.” Genesis 38:1-7 (emphasis added)

Personal Crisis Leads to Change

We discover that God destroyed two of Judah’s sons for their wickedness, so Judah fears giving his only remaining son to Tamar. He deceives his daughter-in-law, Tamar, and leaves her in her father’s house as a young widow without hope of a husband or future.

The Canaanite, Tamar, realizes Judah’s betrayal and orchestrates an elaborate deception of her own. After Judah’s beloved wife dies, Tamar takes advantage of his grief and poses as a shrine prostitute, taking his personal seal and shepherd’s staff in lieu of payment. When Judah learns she’s pregnant, he accuses her of betraying the required customs of mourning and demands the appropriate punishment:

“About three months later Judah was told, ‘Your daughter-in-law Tamar…is now pregnant.’ Judah said, ‘Bring her out and have her burned to death!’ As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. ‘…See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are.’ Judah recognized them and said, ‘She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.’ And he did not sleep with her again. When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb.” Genesis 38:24-27

Tamar was smart, but she was still at the mercy of Judah’s conscience. He could have ignored the proof of his parenthood, kept silent, and had her murdered as a prostitute—despite his myriad betrayals. Who would have believed a woman in those days? Likely, only other women.

But something shifted inside Judah when Tamar showed him his seal and staff. He was forced to take responsibility for his wrongdoing. Forced to acknowledge he’d been a scoundrel—not once but many times.

Judah Goes Home

How do we know Judah’s heart was changed? Because we see the fruit of his integrity awakening in Genesis 43. When the brothers encounter Joseph in Egypt the first time (Genesis 42), they’re still frightened and tossed by Reuben and his wishy-washy emotions and cowardly leadership:

“Then Reuben said to his father, ‘You may put both of my sons to death if I do not bring him back to you. Entrust him to my care, and I will bring him back.'” Genesis 42:37

But when grain from their first trip runs out, Simeon remains in Egypt’s prison, and they must return to Egypt with Benjamin or starve. That’s when Judah steps forward to reassure Jacob and lead his brothers with courage.

“I myself will guarantee his safety; you can hold me personally responsible for him. If I do not bring him back to you and set him here before you, I will bear the blame before you all my life.” Genesis 43:9

Reuben tried to lead with deception and more betrayal. Judah led with integrity and courage—but only after he’d gone through his own personal meat grinder. Perhaps he needed to get away from home to see things more clearly.

Regardless, it seems he finally learned that redemption can only come when we take personal responsibility for our actions and invite God to heal the situation.

Redemption’s Role in Reconciliation

When the brothers return to Egypt, Joseph pretends to be friendly and then plans a betrayal of his own to trick them into leaving Benjamin behind. Why does he do it? Scripture doesn’t tell us, but I’ve got my own opinion that you’ll read in my May 2023 release, In Feast or Famine. The important point for us to take away is that Judah becomes the brothers’ spokesman, their leader, to save Benjamin from this yet-unknown Egyptian vizier who seems so intent on stealing their father’s only remaining son of Rachel.

[Judah said to Joseph,] “Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord’s slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers. How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come on my father.” Genesis 44:33-34

It was THEN that Joseph could no longer control his emotions. He broke down and cried so loudly that Pharaoh’s household heard him! He cleared the room and finally revealed his identity to his brothers, evidently convinced that at least Judah had become a man trustworthy enough to bear the truth.

Of course, the brothers were terrified at first. Reconciliation after such a long and deep division couldn’t have been easy. The brothers returned to Hebron and told their father Joseph was alive. Who do you think told Jacob? Not Reuben! My money is on Judah. He seems the only one willing to take responsibility for the hard stuff. He’s a hero in my book. Flawed, yes. Absolutely! But a man who was willing to admit his wrongs and try to make them right.

Today’s Question:

• Is there something you’ve blamed someone else for too long? Something the Lord is asking you to take personal responsibility for? Confess it to Him right now and—if appropriate—talk with the person most affected by your decision.

Tweet-Ables:

• Redemption can only come when we take personal responsibility for our actions and invite God to heal the situation.