Control vs. Surrender – Living Victoriously

When I was a little kid, I remember attending old-fashioned “camp meetings” (outdoor revivals in huge, white tents) with my grandmother. The pianist and organist played on a stage with a choirmaster who stood behind a large pulpit. His arms bounced in rhythm with old hymns as the audience belted out, “Victory in Jesus, my Savior forever!” But when the musicians began another well-known intro, and the choirmaster hit the downbeat, fewer voices joined in singing, “I surrender all.”

Why less fervor on surrender? Because too often waving our personal white flag feels like defeat. However, nothing could be further from the truth if we surrender only to the one true God!

Recognizing the Problem

During my younger years, I didn’t know I had control issues. When someone asked, What’s for dinner? What do want to watch on TV? Where do we go on vacation? I let others decide.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 1997 and could no longer force my body to do things it once did. When our illusions of control are taken away, we realize how much control we thought we had. During the months and years of adjustment, I whined at God, asking, “Why, Lord?”

Don’t ever feel bad about asking God why. Job asked fourteen times, and it took a thunderstorm and God’s audible voice for that poor guy to finally surrender.

“Then Job replied to the Lord: ‘I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, “Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?” Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.’” Job 42:1-3

In July 2002, I woke one morning with partial paralysis on one side of my body and overall weakness. After six months in bed, doctors still had no answers. Fear and discouragement made me certain of these three lies:

I would die before the docs discovered my illness, and my daughters would be motherless in junior high.
My husband Roy needed to remarry as soon as possible after I died so our girls would have a mom during these formative years.
I needed to immediately begin interviews for Roy’s next wife to determine who would raise my teenagers!

Okay, I wasn’t completely serious about #3, but it did cross my mind. Even the thought proves I had a major control issue.

Giving Up, Defeat, or Surrender?

I hadn’t fully surrendered my children’s future to the Lord’s good care. It was easier to trust God for my health than surrender control over those I love. Wasn’t it up to me as a mother to plan and prepare? Isn’t it up to us to do our part in God’s plan?

Whether we face health problems, relationship issues, or career challenges, slender-but-definite lines separate three very different responses.

Where’s the line between “doing everything humanly possible” and giving up, admitting defeat, and surrendering to God’s perfect will?

The Essence of Giving Up

Giving up comes from a heart unwilling to fight. Whether motivated by cowardice, apathy, or some other egocentric emotion, giving up is often seen as the easiest way out. Once chosen, however, it’s revealed as another of Satan’s dark lies cloaked in light.

The Essence of Defeat

Defeat comes through brokenness after fighting the wrong battles too long. Brave, strong people begin with all the right reasons and good intentions—even zeal for the Lord and His Word—but hijack God’s battleplan. Running ahead of God and demanding He follow is the quickest path to defeat.

The Essence of Surrender

Attribution: image by macrovector on Freepik

Surrender comes when we trust in the power of our resurrected King, who sits at the right hand of our Heavenly Father and whose Spirit is active and alive within us who believe. When we sing, “I surrender all,” it means exactly the same as, “Victory in Jesus!”

The truth is, it’s still easier to believe for myself than for those I love most. But every time Jesus proves faithful—and He always proves faithful—my mustard seed of faith is nurtured into a little larger sapling. I rest in the One who has already conquered sin and death, while at the same time continuing to move in whatever direction is humanly possible.

God’s Sovereignty

I still deal with chronic pain and illness, and I surrender sometimes daily, hourly, or minute-by-minute. It’s been a journey to fully embrace that the all-powerful God is also completely good and sent His Son to erase my sin-debt so I could spend eternity with Him. CLICK HERE to read more about my chronic illness journey.

Have you ever wondered if it’s harder for those of us who live in freedom and democracy to accept the idea of a SOVEREIGN (all-powerful) God being completely GOOD? From my earliest memories of history lessons, I remember hearing power of “the people” lauded over human sovereignty in communism, dictatorships, and/or monarchy because:

“Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

In human terms, history proves it true, and I’m incredibly grateful to live in a land of democracy and freedom. However, sometimes the lifelong message to be suspicious of absolute power can bleed into our concept of God.

Though every Christian knows God is PERFECTLY good and loving, unconscious accusations often rise up and sound something like:

Why would God let a child die of cancer?
Why would God let a drunk driver kill such a good person?
Why would God let my spouse be unfaithful?
Why would God ______________?

By questioning God’s methods or actions, we intentionally or unintentionally question His character.

Three Questions to Check Our Faith In God’s Character

In a recent discipleship class on suffering, three questions were suggested to remind us of God’s good character when we’re tempted to accuse Him of injustice:

Question #1: Does God Know?

If God is truly omniscient–knowing everything at all times about me–does He know about my terrible circumstance? Does He know how I feel? Does He know what I want and/or need physically, emotionally, and spiritually? Can He search me and know my heart enough to bring me safely into a personal relationship with Him? (Psa.139:23; Phil.1:6)

Question #2: Does God Care?

If God knows everything, does He love me enough to guide and protect me on the best path that leads to eternity with Him (Jn.3:16; 1Jn.4:16)?

Question #3: Is God Able?

If God knows everything and loves me perfectly, can I trust He’s powerful enough to ensure my circumstances build a character inside me more focused on eternal joy than earthly happiness? (Phil.2:13; Rom.8:28)

After I realized God was BOTH sovereign (all-powerful) and perfectly good, I could more quickly surrender with greater confidence in my eternal King of Kings.

New Guideposts Release

My new novel for Guideposts Extraordinary Women of the Bible series–Beauty’s Surrender: Sarah’s Story—is all about control vs. surrender. In Sarah’s early years, she seems the vision of compliance. Leaving her homeland of Ur, she follows her father to Harran and later her husband to Canaan. She even agrees to tell both Pharaoh and Abimelech she’s Abram/Abraham’s sister (and neglects to mention she’s also his wife) because he’s asked her to do so. But when God requires total surrender at the end of Sarah’s life, the ugly control monster rears its ugly head…

Book Description:

Join Sarah on an emotional journey as she grapples with a divine revelation. Despite years of bitter family quarrels, Sarah must convince those she loves most to fulfill God’s plan. Will she have the strength to save their future? Find out in this heart-wrenching tale of love, sacrifice, and redemption.