Hard Decisions, Good God

Our granddaughter, Charleigh, complained of a sore throat when she came home from school on Friday. When she woke on Saturday barely able to swallow, our daughter, Emily, took her to the doctor. Thankfully, it wasn’t strep, but the virus still ruined Charleigh’s weekend because Emily’s parenting decisions meant her sick child couldn’t:

• Go to church on Sunday
• Hang out with the kids that came to our house after church for a meeting

Was Emily purposely keeping her daughter from church so Charleigh wouldn’t learn about Jesus? Was Emily intentionally depriving her child from having fun with other kids?

Charleigh thought so! But Charleigh is nine.

As an adult, you realize (I hope) that parents make those hard decisions to keep their children from spreading illness and to ensure they get the rest their bodies need to heal. When I see parents making responsible decisions for their children, I praise their common sense!

What about when God makes those same kind of hard decisions for His kids? Do we think about HIS perfect parenting skills? Or do we accuse Him of being unjust and uncaring (as 9-year-old Charleigh accused her mom)?

Birthing a Nation

When Moses returned to Egypt, promising that Yahweh had heard their pleas and would lead them out of their bondage and into the Land He’d promised to Abraham centuries before, God was also re-introducing Himself to humanity. Not since the Garden of Eden had the LORD dwelt on earth with humankind.

Why did Yahweh spend so much time (Exodus 25-31 and 35-40) describing how to build the wilderness Tabernacle? And then spend even more time explaining how to approach Him in it? The (seemingly endless) laws about sacrifices, clean/unclean status, feasts, etc. aren’t simply random rules from a capricious god.

They are purposeful lessons from a loving Father God meant to teach His sin-sick children to live in obedience that leads to relationship. When Israel left Egypt, they were toddlers learning to walk at His side, grasping their Abba’s finger with every step (Exo.12:31ff). When Moses sent the twelve spies to the Promised Land (Num.13), it was like Yahweh standing five paces away and coaxing his one-year-old to take its first steps—and Israel refused to walk into His arms (Num.14).

Perspective on God’s Decisions

In today’s culture of “nobody’s fault” and participation ribbons, Yahweh’s black-and-white judgment can seem overly harsh. However, we would do well to remember a few basic tenets:

• God is the Potter; we are clay; no imperfect human can rightly judge the perfect God.
• Every human sins and DESERVES death; God’s grace is a gift—every time.
• God doesn’t OWE us an explanation, but He’s given us the Bible to engage us in conversation and deepen relationship

Just as a parent considers the bigger world around their child when making hard decisions that momentarily cause their child discomfort (i.e. Emily knew parents of other children wouldn’t appreciate Charleigh spreading her germs), so God also consider His PERFECT KNOWLEDGE—past, present, and future—when guiding our lives.

Troubling Treatment

Many years ago, I met a woman writing about the Israelites’ conquest and what happened when one of the men wanted to marry someone from Rahab’s household. She used this Scripture as the main premise for her storyline:

When you go to war against your enemies and the Lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives, if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.” Deuteronomy 21:10-14

Okay, ummm, how could I begin my rant on how offensive that is!?!? After a woman has likely just seen her city destroyed, her family and friends killed, the LORD is giving a Hebrew man permission to choose her as a wife? He’ll then have her stripped naked, shave her head, cut her nails (so she can’t claw his eyes out?), and sequester her in his house for a whole month?

How could God command this sort of treatment, this kind of humiliation, after the trauma these women captives already suffered? That question is very much like my nine-year-old granddaughter throwing a tantrum because she refused to acknowledge that her mother understands things she doesn’t.

Seeing Things God’s Way

When I was a kid and asked my parents, “Why?” I always hated the answer, “Because I said so.” Sometimes our human brains simply can’t fathom the reasoning that an infinite God might have done, said, or allowed some of the things we see in Scripture. Shouldn’t we at least try to understand? I believe our God gave us all these amazing stories so we would engage in conversation, struggle, and celebration with him!

“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.” Proverbs 25:2

I’ve searched these reasons for God’s “captive bride” requirements in Deuteronomy 21.

• Put her in your home (for a full month)
  • To keep her protected from other men
  • To keep her separate from critical/mocking Hebrew women in camp
  • To give her a peaceful place to grieve/adjust (likely wouldn’t know/understand Hebrew language)
• Shave her head
  • Small hair snippings often used in incantations/idol worship
  • Braids and/or ornamentation would have set her apart from Hebrew women, making her a target for unkind treatment from the Israelite version of “mean girls.”
• Trim her nails
  • Long nails could be a weapon
  • Long or decorative nails would have set her apart from Hebrew women
• Put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured
  • Hebrew clothing could not be a mixture of wool and linen (Deut.22:11)
  • Foreign women’s clothing may have been considered immodest
  • Foreign clothing would have set her apart from Hebrew women
• Mourn her father and mother (for a full month)
  • Waiting a full month would ensure she wasn’t pregnant
  • In a month’s time, shock would likely settle into reality

Pernicious Or Protective?

So, the next time we read something in the Old Testament (or New) that rubs our 21^st-century sensibilities the wrong way, howsa ‘bout we give our great-big, loving God the benefit of the doubt? Maybe He knows more about the culture and people of the Bible than we do…ya think?

Want to read more about the Israelites’ birthing process and Yahweh’s training process with His toddler nation? My new release, The Edge of Promise, features three short stories, beginning after they’ve crossed the Red Sea. You’ll learn more about Aaron’s cranky wife, Moses’s mysterious death, and Rahab’s jealous sister.

For more info, CLICK HERE to check out the book on my webpage or purchase The Edge of Promise here.

Today’s Questions:

• Can you search out even more possible reasons God might have commanded these protections for captive women? Let me know in the comments!