Insecurities in the Hands of an Angry God

Did you ever have a favorite stuffed toy, doll, or blanket that you slept with when you were little? Maybe an imaginary friend? I have very little education in psychology and don’t know how or if those things factor into adult insecurities. (I had two imaginary friends as a child—so no judgment from me!) But let me just say . . .

Moses needed a blankie.

Imagine that you’re standing on the mountain with Moses, barefoot with the burning bush in front of you, and Yahweh reveals He plans to make YOU the one He’ll use to deliver His people, Israel, from Egypt—the most powerful nation in the world.

Blink.

What if they [the Israelites] don’t believe me?

Blink-blink.

What if they don’t listen to me and say, “The Lord didn’t really appear to you.”

Insecurities or Sound Reasoning?

These sound like perfectly reasonable questions, don’t they? Moses was eighty years old. Granted, he had just led his flock of sheep up that mountain, so he was a spry eighty. However, Egypt was around 360 miles from Midian. Twenty miles a day would have been an average day’s hike, so that’s almost three weeks just to get to Egypt.

We know how the story ends, but Moses didn’t. Moses believed his limitations (AKA: insecurities) were more powerful than God’s ability to work through them. Sound reasoning sometimes supports our insecurities, but God’s calling isn’t limited by reason or human strength.

God prepared Moses with three miracles to show the Israelite elders to prove Yahweh had sent him (4:2-9). But Moses wasn’t just a little concerned he might need an eraser on a pencil for the kind of mistakes he would make. No, no. He was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN he would mess this up and began a litany of flimsy excuses. (Ex. 4:10 – “I c-c-c-can’t t-t-t-talk, Lord!”) God listened with mercy and patience, knowing Moses would eventually get to the REAL reason: Moses simply didn’t want to do it.

Can you relate?

When Daddy’s Mad

As a kid, I don’t remember my dad getting mad very often—but when he did? Whoooooeeeee!! (When you read a male character in one of my biblical novels that “flexes his jaw muscle,” you can think of my dad.) I think Dad’s slow to anger character helped me understand that aspect of my Heavenly Father described in the Psalms:

“But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” Psalm 86:15

But after God has given Moses plenty of time to share his insecurities, armed the chosen deliverer with three miracles to share and assured him repeatedly of His constant presence—Moses’s simple refusal to go…was the last straw:

“But Moses said, ‘Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.’ Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses…” Exodus 4:13-14 (emphasis added)

Really, Dude? If I were God . . .

Actually, let’s finish that sentence—not the God part—but if I were hiring Moses to do a job and he gave me all those excuses and then said, “Get someone else,” I would have booted him out the door! Right?

Not God.

Here’s the beauty of it. God doesn’t reject us when most PEOPLE would.

God’s anger does NOT equal God’s rejection. Say it again: God’s anger does NOT equal God’s rejection. Nor does God’s anger mean He’ll beat you up.

What did it mean for Moses?

Love and Faithfulness

Do you remember why Moses has been in Midian for forty years? God remembered. Moses had already been rejected by the Israelites as their deliverer once. No wonder he didn’t want to try again:

[New Testament: Steven’s testimony before the Jewish elders before he was stoned:] “When Moses was forty years old, he decided to visit his own people, the Israelites. He saw one of them being mistreated by an Egyptian, so he went to his defense and avenged him by killing the Egyptian. Moses thought that his own people would realize that God was using him to rescue them, but they did not. The next day Moses came upon two Israelites who were fighting. He tried to reconcile them by saying, ‘Men, you are brothers; why do you want to hurt each other?’ But the man who was mistreating the other pushed Moses aside and said, ‘Who made you ruler and judge over us?’” Acts 7:23-27

Who did Moses even know in Egypt anymore? God told him the Egyptians who sought to kill him were dead—which was good news—but where would he stay? Moses was eighty years old! My research showed that the average lifespan of slaves during this time in Egypt was 40-50 years. Moses hadn’t gotten an email from the fam in years!

This was God’s reaction—to Moses’s insecurities—in His fierce anger:

“What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you.” Exodus 4:14 (emphasis added)

God didn’t reject Moses because of his insecurities. God sent His deliverer a deliverer—and assured him the one he sent would be happy to see him. Awwww—that’s better than a Hallmark movie, y’all!

Insecurities Aside

With the promise of help tucked securely in his belt, Moses tossed the wife and sons on a donkey and off they went to Egypt. They ran into a little trouble on the way, however, when more than Moses’s insecurities were exposed.

Insecurity is very different than obstinance. Insecurity means you don’t feel qualified for the task. Obstinance means you refuse to do it.

Moses had refused to circumcise his firstborn son. There were three reasons he should have KNOWN to circumcise his sons:

1. He was nursed at his Hebrew mother’s breast
2. He was raised in an Egyptian royal household (Egyptians also circumcised at age 12—for different reasons than Abraham’s covenant, of course.)
3. The Midianites were descendants of Ishmael and also circumcised.

Moses refusal to circumcise his sons wasn’t born of ignorance but obstinate refusal to follow cultural demands. And it nearly cost him his life.

“At a lodging place on the way, the Lord met Moses and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. ‘Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,’ she said. So the Lord let him alone.” Exodus 4:24-26a

Why would Yahweh threaten Moses’s life when he’d just called him to deliver Israel? Sheesh!

Breaking Down Obstinance

Maybe we discover God’s purpose in the verses immediately before the incident…

“The Lord said to Moses, “When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do. But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go. Then say to Pharaoh, ‘This is what the Lord says: Israel is my firstborn son, and I told you, “Let my son go, so he may worship me.” But you refused to let him go; so I will kill your firstborn son.’” Exodus 4:21-23 (emphasis added)

God told Moses several KEY FACTS BEFORE he went to Egypt:

1. Moses MUST perform EVERY sign God gives him the power to do (implying at some point Moses won’t want to).
2. God knows Pharaoh will NOT let Israel go, so God will harden his heart.
3. Say to Pharaoh (using these specific words), “Israel is my firstborn son.”
4. Say to Pharaoh (using these specific words), “…you refused to let him go; so I will kill your firstborn son.”

This means Moses knew BEFORE he went to Egypt that Pharaoh’s firstborn son would die. How could God trust this man whose insecurities had driven him to obstinance. Moses hadn’t even circumcised his firstborn son.

Moses’s wife, Zipporah, did the circumcision and laid the foreskin at Moses’s feet, calling him a bridegroom of blood. OUCH—all ‘round! Moses needed to feel the pain he caused his firstborn, his wife, his family.

Why?

Because God would require him to perform miracles that cost peoples lives, their crops, their livestock—and, yes, their firstborn sons.

God broke both Moses’s obstinance and his insecurities—because this wasn’t about Moses. It was about God.

What About You?

I can relate to Moses. A lot of insecurity here, a little obstinance there. Some days the scales tilt a little the other way, and my obstinance wins. Ugh.

Here’s the good news: God doesn’t reject me.

Here’s the great news with hard truth: God will break my obstinance with love and faithfulness.

Today’s Question:

• Which of your insecurities has God proven repeatedly His power to overcome?
• How has God threatened your obstinance, and are you willing to cut away the unnecessary parts of your life to obey Him?
• Do you still fear God’s rejection? Memorize Psalm 94:14.

Tweet-Ables:

• Sound reasoning sometimes supports our insecurities, but Gods calling is not limited by human strength. Join @MesuAndrews “newsies” and see why! https://bit.ly/MesuNews
• Gods anger does NOT equal Gods rejection. Join @MesuAndrews “newsies” and see why! https://bit.ly/MesuNews