Jacob and Rachel – 5 Ways To A Woman’s Heart

My deadline is today for the first edit on Potiphar’s Wife. It’s been a behemoth! An almost total rewrite (375+ new pages). However, my editor’s suggestions and the Holy Spirit’s guidance have really made me ponder the ember of desire that can lay dormant in a woman’s heart when not fanned into flame by a healthy marriage.

During the rewrite I continued my quiet time in Genesis and was struck by the verses describing Jacob’s first encounter with Rachel.

Setting the stage:

Jacob deceived his father Isaac into giving him Esau’s blessing, which Elohim told their mother Rebekah belonged to Jacob while the twin boys were still in her womb (Gen. 25:21-23). So Esau got “spittin’ mad” and threatened to kill Jacob, so he fled to his uncle, Laban, in Haran.

No GPS in those days, so he stops at a well and asks directions–really? A man who’s willing to ask for directions?

Yup.

Low and behold, here came the beautiful shepherdess, Rachel, who just so happened–at that precise moment–to lead her father’s flocks to that well. BTW, two other shepherds had been waiting on her to get there–in the middle of the day–which meant she was LATE. Marvel at God’s timing for a moment.

The Meet & Greet

Jacob is my new quintessential leading man. He does 5 things to win Rachel’s heart that I’d never seen as clearly as when I was pondering all that Potiphar’s Wife didn’t experience in her life and marriages. (Yes, marriageS, plural. Are you intrigued yet?)

So let’s take a look at the short transaction of Jacob and Rachel’s first encounter and learn how to make any marriage stronger.

“While [Jacob] was still talking with [the shepherds], Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherd. When Jacob saw Rachel daughter of his uncle Laban, and Laban’s sheep, he went over and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered his uncle’s sheep. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud. He had told Rachel that he was a relative of her father and a son of Rebekah. So she ran and told her father.” Genesis 29:9–12 (emphasis added)

Two Disclaimers Before Reading Farther:

1. Relax, men! You need not “weep aloud” to be a hero!
2. Please consider the items below as a window into a woman’s mysterious heart, not a “honey-do” list of tasks for a man to accomplish. Showing love is a transaction with give and take, not a burden either husband or wife shoulders alone.

Jacob, AKA Cassanova

#1 – Protect/Provide

There were other shepherds waiting, but it was Jacob who rolled the stone away. A woman needs to feel secure. Cared for. Safe. It’s what made the Twilight books and movie series such a hit–a romantic vampire and werewolf? Yup. Because they made the girl feel safe and provided security when she moved into her dad’s house.

#2 – Serve

Jacob watered her flock. I wonder if those other shepherds had ever done that for lovely Rachel.

#3 – Show Affection

He kissed her right there in front of God and everybody! Scandalous! And just what a girl needs. Fellas, you’d be amazed what a little brush on the back of your girl’s hand will do…

#4 – Self-reveal

As I mentioned above, weeping aloud is not a requirement of self-revelation. 😉 However, a little emotional transparency is essential to tear down walls and rebuild trust–or to establish trust in new relationships. Start with sharing information. Talk about family (as Jacob did). Jobs. Kids. But move beyond the weather and begin to explore feelings and how the Lord might be working to mold the two of you into one flesh.

#5 – Patient Response

Women don’t always respond to their men’s attention in the way men expect. Rachel, for instance, ran away! Thankfully, her father, Laban, came back to greet Jacob and invited him to stay.

After the Transactions

Laban seemed excited to have Jacob and welcomed him into his household.

“After Jacob had stayed with him for a whole month, Laban said to him, ‘Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.’” Genesis 29:14-15 (emphasis added)

What do you suppose Jacob did during that month he was with Laban–before Laban hired him to earn Rachel as his wife?

• How did Jacob treat Rachel during the wait?
• How did he treat Laban?
• The other shepherds?
• Did he cry out to the God who’d spoken to him in a dream at Bethel (Gen. 28:10-22)?
• Did God’s apparent silence make him feel discouraged?

Applying Jake’s World To Ours

I would think Jacob realized God was involved in his world when he found the exact well where Uncle Laban watered his sheep at the exact moment Rachel was leading the flock. Even a skeptic would be hard-pressed not to admit Elohim was at work, right?

But a month is a long time to wait with no direction. No other recorded dreams from Elohim or kisses with Rachel or conversations with Laban about the future. A month of aimless waiting. I know the feeling. Do you? A month is a long time when the future hangs in the balance.

We know the rest of Jacob’s story, but he didn’t. Like our sometimes long waiting, only Elohim knows the future, and we must patiently continue our attempts to love and be loved.

Jacob’s next step was seven long years of shepherding to earn Rachel’s hand. What’s your next step?

Love existed before time and was given by God to strengthen marriage. I hope you’ll prayerfully consider who might enjoy a little peek into Rachel’s heart and Jacob’s steps to win it and share my newsletter or this post with a friend.

Blessings on your heart transactions!