Have you ever met someone when you were a little kid and maybe not especially liked them? But then, as an adult, you realize your childhood perception was completely mistaken? I felt this way when I dug deeper into research about Jacob’s wife, Leah. But I also felt this way about my own grandmother. 😕
When I was little, I wasn’t allowed to call her Grandma, Granny, or any “normal” grandmotherly name because she didn’t want to sound “old.” So we called her Mom Mom.
As a kid, I remember Mom Mom always seemed grumpy. She taught fifth grade and was the teacher no one wanted. But for my wedding, I asked Mom Mom to make mints for my wedding–a special recipe of hand-pressed butter mints–because she had a Home Economics degree from Indiana University (graduated in 1928). She was thrilled, and I was amazed at how much I enjoyed our time together.
I learned a lot more about Mom Mom after that. The fact that she became a widow in her early forties pierced my heart. She married again, but was widowed a second time a few years later. This resilient woman went back to college for a second degree–in education. As an adult, I realized how amazing my Mom Mom truly was.
First Impressions of Leah
My first impression of Jacob’s wife, Leah, wasn’t very positive either. I remembered her from Sunday school stories as a kid. Do you?
Jacob had deceived his father Isaac into giving him the Covenant Promise instead of the firstborn, Esau. Jacob knew his brother Esau would nail him for it, so he fled to the land of Padan Aram where his mother’s brother lived. Uncle Laban had two daughters.
“The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, ‘I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.'” Genesis 29:16–18 (emphasis added)
Who Deceived Who?
At the end of those seven years, however, Uncle Laban deceived Jacob and sent a heavily-veiled Leah instead of Rachel into the dark tent on the wedding night.
“When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, ‘What is this you have done to me…Why have you deceived me?’ Laban replied, ‘It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.'” Genesis 29:25–27
Poor, pitiful, unloved Leah–right? I’ve always felt so sorry for her. But as I delved deeper into research for my upcoming release, The Reluctant Rival: Leah’s Story, a few nagging questions plagued me:
- Was it really possible that Jacob had NO IDEA he was sleeping with Leah instead of Rachel?
- Was Leah completely innocent in the deception, or was she a willing accomplice to deceive?
Grow Up
I could have dwelt on those two questions forever–and never gotten around to writing the book. But, like Leah, I had to move forward. Grow up. Face facts. Here are the facts…
“[Jacob’s] love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years. When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless.” Genesis 29:30-31 (emphasis added)
Whether Leah was NOT loved and/or loved LESS, her status in the marriage was etched in stone. She was Jacob’s first wife but second in his heart.
Love’s Quest
Have you ever heard of the book called, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (my affiliate link)? It points out the many differences between men and women, but Scripture also points out THE single-most crucial difference my hubby and I have noticed.
“Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33 (emphasis added)
Men’s #1 need is respect, and women’s #1 need is to be loved. I’m not suggesting men don’t need love or women don’t need respect, but the need at the core of our created gender is seen in Leah’s quest as she names her children:
- Reuben – A Son (“Surely my husband will love me now.”)
- Simeon – One who hears (“Because the LORD heard I’m not loved.”)
- Levi – Attached (“Perhaps now my husband will become attached to me–aiming a little lower than love.)
- Judah – Praise the Lord (A shift here–no longer begging for love; simply praising the LORD.)
After Rachel’s maidservant (Bilhah) and Leah’s servant (Zilpah) have sons, Leah’s quest changed…
- Issachar – Reward (“God’s reward for giving Zilpah to Jacob.”)
- Zebulun – Honor (“Perhaps Jacob will treat me with honor since I’ve given him six sons.”)
Hints of Honor
As you may know, the LORD eventually opened Rachel’s womb and gave her two sons, Joseph and Benjamin. She died giving birth to her second son, Benjamin, and was buried near Bethlehem, on the return to Jacob’s family camp in Hebron/Beersheba.
Hint #1
Joseph would have likely been around sixteen when Rachel died. A year later, when he was seventeen (Gen.37:2), he had the famous dreams that he revealed to his brothers and father.
“When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, ‘What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?’” Genesis 37:10 (emphasis added)
Rachel had already died, so the only “mother” still living would have been Leah. I LOVE that Jacob included her in his indignation. It says to me that he considered her worthy of defending and deserving of honor.
Hint #2
Joseph’s brothers were angry and sold him into slavery. He was taken to Egypt and purchased by Potiphar, the captain of Pharaoh’s bodyguard (Gen.37:12-36; 39:1-47:57). Through some amazing events, Joseph later became the 2nd-highest official in Egypt and brought Jacob’s whole family there to save them from a terrible famine (Gen.48:1-49:28).
When Jacob was old and dying, he called together his whole family to give these instructions:
“I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite . . . There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried, there Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried, and there I buried Leah.” Genesis 49:29, 31 (emphasis added)
Rachel died in childbirth, one day’s journey from the same caves, yet she was buried near Bethlehem, the town where Benjamin was born. It was LEAH who was honored at her burial, laid to eternal rest with the patriarchs and matriarchs of Jacob’s family. What greater honor could he have given her?
Love or Honor?
I know many women who live in a loveless marriage, and it grieves my heart. But Leah’s story gives every woman hope for this life and the next.
Rachel was chosen by Jacob, but Leah was chosen by God. Which would you prefer? Of course we all want to be loved in this life, to belong to someone. But can you settle for honor–as I believe Leah did?
Ponder this question in your heart today and then ask the LORD to show you what steps to take that will begin the process of gaining honor from those in your life. Only He can work inside someone to shape their opinions of us. However, knowing that we’re chosen by God can change how we live!
Live like you’re chosen! Because if you’re reading this…you are!
Today’s Question:
- How do you know God has chosen you?
Comments 16
Wow…you certainly never disappoint! I always considered Lean whiney, lacking initiative and negative. I based my opinion on “weak eyes” and that she never considered her sister (betrayal), and went along with her father’s deceit. I’m expecting this word and reading this book will change my mind’s opinion. Love particularly that Rachael was Jacob’s choice, but Leah was God’s choice! As always, it will be a great read! Thank you…Peggy
Author
Aww, Peggy, I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and it helped you see Leah’s eyes with different eyes! 😉 I have truly cultivated a deep respect for this precious woman as I wrote The Reluctant Rival, and I can’t wait for y’all to meet her!
i think rachael was to young to marry (10-12?) and thats why they chose to deceive him- but i always wondered what the heck about the wedding night and 12 sons if he didnt at least like her – also did she have daughters? my ill opinion tends to rest on jacob… and God still used him- which makes me wonder how bad esau was….
Author
Scripture only lists one of Jacob’s daughters (Dinah), but Gen.46:7 says he had daughters (plural). And it is encouraging to remember that as ornery as Jacob was, God still used him mightily. Gives me hope for myself–and even the orneriest folks I know! 😉
I’ve often wondered if God had wanted Jacob to marry Leah (and Jacob knew it) and I wonder if Jacob was rebellious by marrying Rachel. Leah seems so much the better of the two. She was always faithful to God, whereas Rachel worshipped other Gods. Although God blessed Jacob’s union with Rachel by giving him Joseph, Jesus came from Leah’s descendants, not from Rachel’s.
Author
I had to wonder the same thing, Brenda, especially after doing the research. I’ve wondered if Jacob saw his father do the same thing… Did Rebekah ever tell Isaac about God’s prophetic word to her while the twins–Jacob and Esau–were yet unborn and fighting in her womb? God said the older would serve the younger, yet Isaac planned to convey the firstborn blessing on Esau instead of Jacob anyway. Surely, Rebekah would have told her husband what God said. So did Isaac not believe her? Or was he defying God’s choice because he favored Esau more? If Jacob grew up seeing his father’s defiance of God’s choice, it makes sense that he would defy the older sister as God’s choice and marry Rachel.
Have you read “ The Red Tent “ by Anita Diamenta?
It’s the story of Jacob’s wives. I learned so much about Leah.
I don’t think she is a believer but it’s a good story.
Author
YES, Renae!!! I loved The Red Tent! It was one of the first biblical fiction titles I ever read. Ms Diamant is Jewish, so her historical information is impeccable. However, I wouldn’t consider her book “Christian” fiction. There are several parts that are rather more vulgar than the Christian market would publish, and it doesn’t follow the biblical record exactly.
When I first started reading biblical fiction, there were only THREE authors who wrote bibfic in the Christian market (Francine River’s Mark of the Lion series, Angela Hunt’s Ancient River Series, and Lynn Austin’s Chronicles of the Kings series). I devoured them all and then was left to read the biblical fiction that was written in the secular market by folks who didn’t follow the biblical record. It was disheartening at best (like The Red Tent) and appalling at worst (MANY others). That’s why I LOVE to promote other Christian biblical fiction authors now because I want to be sure we keep the genre alive in the Christian market!!!
I read The Red Tent which catapulted me into discovering biblical historical fiction!
Author
I’ve read it 3-4 times and love it, but I always warn folks that it’s a little more racy than the “normal” Christian fiction they might pick up. 😉
I have always preferred Leah to Rachel, I could identify with her as I was older than my sister but she was always my mother’s favourite. This was very painful to me many times! At least I didn’t have to share a husband with her. I don’t blame her for what her father did, a daughter had to obey her father so when he put her in the tent instead of Rachel she had no choice. I think she loved Jacob though, and had been watching him for the 7 years he was working for Rachel, hoping he’d notice her but he never did. God saw she was not loved so compensated her by giving her far more children than Rachel. Rachel wasn’t a bad person either though. There is a book series by Liz Curtis Higgs, I can’t remember the titles now but there are 4 of them, she takes the Jacob, Leah and Rachel story and puts it in Scotland sometime in the past, I guess the 1800’s or so. The last book is about Dinah, Leah’s daughter. Excellent books and heartbreaking in many places.
I look forward to reading your book Mesu, I have read all of your books up to now and loved all of them. I wondered if there would be a continuation of the Hezekiah and Manasseh story, about Amon and Josiah the next kings in line. You had indicated that the reason Josiah was such a good king was that Amon’s wife was Jewish so possibly taught Josiah about God before he became a king. It would be great to read more about this.
Author
Hi Alondra!
I LOVED Liz’s Lowlands of Scotland Series!!! (my Aff Link: https://amzn.to/2Z0OF80) Brilliantly written. And I would love to write about Josiah someday–mainly because he coincides with the prophetess Huldah and the prophet Jeremiah. I think it would be fascinating to link the three of them together. For now, however, I’m contracted to write about Joseph (2022, 2023 releases), so we’ll see what happens after that! Thanks so much for your encouragement! You’re a blessing, dear one!
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Hello, Mesu! I just studied the Jacob, Leah, Rachel story this week with BSF again. How timely that I found your blog today! I wondered the same questions that you did and enjoyed your musings. Thank you for sharing about your grandmother. She sounded like a fascinating woman!
Author
I LOVED BSF! Haven’t done a study in years, but I completed (I think) 5 of them back in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Totally changed how I read Scripture and opened up so much of God’s Word for me. I love God’s timing. So fun to hear you had the same question I did! Blessings, gal!
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